


Flowers of the Heart

by GoringWriting



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt Gwaine (Merlin), Hurt Merlin (Merlin), M/M, Pining Gwaine (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25991821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoringWriting/pseuds/GoringWriting
Summary: Gwaine loves Merlin. Merlin loved Gwaine. Too Merlin thinks Gwaine loves Gwen and Gwaine thinks Merlin loves Arthur. Now both of them are dying from flowers that choke them and scratch them. That fill their chests and come away from their lips dripping blood.
Relationships: Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126





	Flowers of the Heart

The cough starts the morning after Gwaine leaves Camelot and Merlin behind. He knew it would happen. Knew that he had been so drawn to the man there was no way he wouldn't cough petals. 

He had hoped that Merlin would come with him. Would love him more than he loves Arthur or Camelot. Had hoped that his love would be returned so that he wouldn't develop flowers in his chest that choke him when he runs from taverns.

Men and women give him pitying looks when he slouches over his drink in taverns and ended up with a cup full of flowers.

He had wished more than anything that Merlin loved him back, loved him enough to come with him. He had refused to stay for the simple fact that if Merlin didn't leave he didn't love Gwaine back and there would be no way Gwaine would be able to hide this from him and he would know it was him that Gwaine loved.

The healer in a town too far from Camelot to matter tells him he may have a bit more than a year. A year to live all the things Gwaine has wanted to.

A year before the flowers killed him.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Merlin watches Gwaine talk to Gwen before leaving Camelot for good.

He had hoped Gwaine would love him back enough to stay. Loved him enough to give up the new tavern everyday and the open road. Loved him back enough to tell Uther of his family so he could stay.

Gwaine hadn't and there he was talking to Gwen before leaving Merlin.

The cough started a few days after that. At first Merlin assumed he had a cold and gone back to sleep. 

When Gaius had come to look him over Merlin had coughted up a single blue petal and Gaius looked heartbroken.

Gaius said that his magic would fight it. Would work to keep the petals and stems in his body from slowly killing him. But eventually they would.

A week later Gaius told him he probably had two years left. Two years to get Arthur on the throne and to unite magic and Albion.

No pressure.

It was impossible to hide the flowers from Arthur or Leon. The prince and his knight caught him almost within minutes heaving up flowers in the stables.

Arthur had looked distraught and tried to hide it with a joke about how he was mad he'd have to find a new Manservant. But Merlin saw the resignation, the grief already starting in the two men.

He could also see through Leon's attempts to get a name out of him. Who the person Merlin loved enough to die for. Arthur, Gwen, Gaius all tried to find out the name as well. 

Merlin refused to tell. Gwaine may not love him but he did like him. Had saved his life already and would certainly be upset if he found out that he was the subject of the disease.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Gwiane looks up from the man he's fighting at the sound of his name he sees Merlin there and the flowers don't choke him as much.

Merlin's there. Maybe he came to realize his feelings? 

The stems constricted even tighter when Merlin explained that he needed Gwaine's help to save Arthur of all people.

He calls Merlin his closest friend praying the man corrects him or at least asks him about it. But alas the sound stops them from saying anything else.

Gwaine sees the petals, the soft blue peeking between Merlin's lips when he clears his throat and things make sense. He couldn't love Gwaine because he already loves someone. And considering what they are currently doing is both dangerous and stupid Gwaine is pretty sure it's Arthur.

"I'm sorry," Gwaine says wiping a petal from Merlin's face and the touch sends tingles through his fingers that make his heart ache.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Gwaine says sorry while wiping away the petal Merlin thinks he's figured it out but a look at the man simply tells Merlin his friend is sorry to see him in pain.

When Gwaine had said he wasn't there for Arthur, but rather Merlin, he thought that maybe Gwaine was going to return his feelings but no. The man considered Merlin his only friend. 

Merlin hadn't known what to say.

They're curled up around the fire when Merlin sees the pink petals falling from Gwaine's mouth as he tries to hide them before Merlin can see.

Merlin gives him a sad smile.

Of course Gwaine loved someone else. Probably someone he met in a tavern or Gwen or someone he met traveling.

What matters is it's not Merlin. 

That night they both fall asleep with the image of flowers upon the lips on the man they love.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Being champion doesn't mean much when you know there's a time limit on how much longer you have to live. You're also no use to slavers of you have hanahaki so they use those infected as training dummies.

Gwaine gets to know all of the men in the pit. Sees which one is forth dying for. 

What's the point of fighting to live when in a few weeks you'll be dead.

He had just picked the one he'll die for. A farm boy named Aric with dreams of being a scholar. Gwaine will throw the match to him.

Already he can feel his organs straining under the flowers in him. Almost all his petals are red with his blood and they drip as they drop from his lips.

Single petals are rare now. It's usually almost always full flowers. He doesn't have much time left. He'll die in a match and save Aric's life.

Since he can't save a different farm boy far smarter than those around him, Aric will have to do.

Merlin and Arthur are there. Merlin looks pale and drawn. His flowers are full blooms and hey are streaked with red and Arthur looks fretfully at the man when he thinks no one will see.

Gwaine sees.

How could this man not love Merlin? Merlin is more devoted to his prince than most knights.

They're fighting, him and Arthur, champion against prince. Gwaine has the upper hand. He could kill the prince of Camelot. Free Merlin from the disease. Save both Melrin and Aric from their fates.

But Merlin would never want that. He wouldn't want his safety for that.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They're fighting an immortal army. Merlin is with Lancelot who had held him close and whispered words if comfort to him. Trying to find out who it was that had Merlin's heart. But Merlin would simply shake his head and hug his friend tighter.

He handles most of the immortal soldiers himself because he's going to die anyway in a few months why put Lancelot at risk. His friend has no flowers falling from his lips.

He'd save Arthis many times in those months he assumes.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gwaine and Lancelot are Knights of Camelot. Merlin will at least have friends around.

He watches Gwaine hey worse and worse. He practically lives in Gaius' chambers at the moment. Too sick to move.

His friend only has a day left maybe less. Merlin is getting water when Gwaine struggles up in his cot. Asking him to help him up to the battlements.

Merlin can't deny him. He helps him up to the battlements and they lay side by side staring up at the night sky.

"I wanted to see the stars one last time," Gwaine says and they're facing each other and talk about everything.

Finally Gwaine says, "I wish I could die knowing..." He sucks in a breath," that someone loved me."

Merlin's heart aches. What is he supposed to do? Let the love of his life die feeling unloved?

Merlin leans in and gives a kiss to the man's lips.

"I'm in love with you," Merlin says.

"You what?" Gwaine asks sounding a bit clearer that he has in days.

"I'm in love with you. Have been since you were exiled," Merlin says softly not able to meet the eye of his friend.

"Look I'm sorry and please don't feel guilty about not returning my love it's ok.. mmmhmf!" Merlin says as Gwaine's lips attack his.

"You love me?" Gwaine asks, he looks a bit better and there are still flowers in his mouth and throat.

"Yes!"

"I'm in love with you!" Gwaine says.

"What? Merlin sobs. Could they both love each other? Could they? 

"I'm in love with you!" Gwaine says sitting up and pulling Merlin up with him. Merlin is grinning wide and they press their lips together again. The pain in both their chests and throats slowly eases a bit.

"I love you Merlin," Gwaine says.

"I love you Gwaine," Merlin says and they share a final kiss under the stars.


End file.
